Moving Day

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Today’s “load” is/was very heavy and not because it packed out my garage, but because it packed out my heart. This week while we were all concerned about COVID-19, where to find toilet paper and sheltering in place I was busy moving the oldest of my bunch out of her apartment. It’s so strange, because I knew I’d be doing this for a while, but I wasn’t prepared.

This was the equivalent of me sending a kid off to college…she’s twenty-five but it was still really hard. I’ve watched her pull out of my drive way many times before, each time knowing that she’d be right back. Today, was different as she loaded her things into her car, I knew this “I’ll see you later” wouldn’t come for a long while.

I’m sad because, “The hey sis lets go get something to eat” calls will stop. The “I really am turning the corner” text will cease. The “Wash your hands before you go in my fridge!” speech wont be for her. My kitchen cabinets will be open for reasons other than her. Even, in my sadness, I hope she knows that even with all the tough love there was/is genuine love. Although she will never live here again, there will always be a meal for her at my table and a place on my couch.I hope she know’s, that I am only a phone call away! I hope she knows that there will be more frequent calls to say, I love you!” I hope she knows that my prayers will persist.

I am sad yet very grateful, to know that as she left Louisville this evening heading back to Detroit she isn’t alone because the Lord is always present (Psalm 139:7). Secondly, she is running back to the arms of her mom who loves her just as I do! As I watched her drive off today holding back tears (ok…I cried a lot) I realized, no matter how many kids we parent and send off into the world, we still need our heavenly Father. Today, I rejoice because the Lord constantly show’s me how much I need him. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is my strength. Nehemiah 8:10

What has reminded you this week that you still need Jesus? How are you responding to that need? For me this week it will be spending time in His word and praying!

Thanks for allowing me to share my “load” today.

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Designed for Delight

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Photo Cred SK Photography

This “Load” is beautifully designed. These garments are knit together with the best fabrics and threads. It comes with special care instructions! These uniquely crafted materials are so exclusive that only the Master designer can handle them. Why this designer? Well, because He’s a craftsman like no other. He’s the only one in the universe who doesn’t have to measure or cut, he just breathes the most wonderfully made pieces into existence. He doesn’t have to adjust, or piece fabrics together, in order to get it draped just right. Every piece of material is used and nothing goes to waste. This designer is God and the stunning and one of a kind piece is you!

Our heavenly Father wove you together in your mother’s womb to attract attention, but not for yourself. Since you and I were born into sin its so easy for or us to seek/want glory for ourselves. Our sole purpose in life is to bring God glory. HONEY, you and I were designed to delight! The word delight means to please greatly and is synonymous with the word fascinate which means to irresistibly draw attention of. Don’t you want to draw the attention of the Father? I know I do. I can remember as a kid when my dad would come around (which wasn’t often) I wanted to fascinate him so he’d want to stay. I would sing Temptations songs, tell inappropriate jokes, and make up dance routines…It was never enough to hold his attention. Unlike my earthly father, getting God’s attention isn’t that hard. Scripture says that the Lord delights (fascinates) himself with those who fear in Him; who put their hope in his unfailing love (Isaiah 147:11). God is fascinated with our right thinking, our outward praise of who He is and our focus on His word to guide our lives. He wants us to make much of Him and long for him. Draw near to God and he will draw near to you (James 4:8).

In order for us to do these things that I have pointed out above we have to wash ourselves in the word.In times where things are upside down or just don’t quite line up for us our purpose is still to delight the Lord. Even when our actions are not pleasing to God we are still precious to the Father. He tells us in his word that he will never leave nor forsake us. The Lord is fascinated with you because He loves you. When we begin to put our love into action, worship God with every fiber of our being, and think more highly of others our lives no longer have a place for sin. Our lives should look like a vibrant fashion show where we link up with others to show off our magnificent designer God the Father.Our “Load” is one of delight and because of that, we must be peculiar people, living ordinary lives, seeking to show off an extraordinary Savior!


Are you living up to your design? How often are you consulting the instruction manual?

Black Boy Joy

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It’s been a minute since I have posted because all of my many loads had piled up. I’m caught up on my loads and now I’m ready to share my heart.

Today’s load is dark, colorful, brilliant, vibrant and oh so beautiful!
I am a mom to an amazing boy with melanin filled skin! A beautiful black boy! A boy who this world see’s as a threat. As much as I want to teach him that color doesn’t matter; I know I cant because for him particularly it matters more than ever.

The world sees his melanin as a weapon. The world is wrong his melanin is not a weapon but his mind is. He’s sharp, intelligent, astute, clever, intuitive, insightful and bright. He doesn’t have to entertain, run, jump, dribble or throw a ball to be celebrated. He is strong, resilient, respectful, and responsible. When others say he’s nothing its my job to remind him that he is everything to me and that he has a God given purpose. When they say he’s weak I want him to remember that he is strong. In His skin is a gift from God (Gen 1:26 “let us make man in our image”) and not a curse. The world will tell him that as a future black man he must always be strong, but I want him to know that being vulnerable is not a weakness. Its okay for him to fail because it teaches him perseverance. The truth of the matter is that as long as the Lord is on his side he is fighting from a place of victory!

When things get tough and he reacts the worlds going to say he is angry…and thats okay because he doesn’t need their approval. When they make him feel small, he should know that he is bigger than life in my eyes . Find joy…beautiful black boy joy! When this world causes his Load to be heavy I want him to find Joy in the Lord because he is the only one who can carry it. Rejoice in the Lord always Phil 4:4)! The world didn’t give it and the world can’t take it away. To my son…be a beautiful black boy who has an abundance of joy!

Coaching…A life lived by example!

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Photo Cred: SKPhotography

Today’s load is left on the floor! Why is it on the floor? It’s on the floor because thats where you leave hard work! As a coach I recognize that this job requires a lot of time and commitment. Most of all it calls for being an example on and off of the court. Coaches are often teaching skills, but its important to recognize that the kids are watching our lives. I often like to say, “More is caught than taught!” This means that my behavior must match my beliefs, and my talk must match my walk. I can tell the kids a lot of things but if my actions and life do not match up to my words, then it was pointless to say those things.

My job as coach is to lead and motivate my girls. That means having patience throughout the long season, with training and sometimes the frustrating attitudes of the players. Effectively communicating to to my girls helps to foster a positive atmosphere . Titus 2:6-7 says, “In the same way, encourage the young men to live wisely. And you yourself must be an example to them by your good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the seriousness of your teaching.” Coaching isn’t always about the game sometimes things from outside come into the gym and I have to give my girls space to deal with them or give them a safe space to vent and talk through the issues. That also means checking in with the parents and teachers to know how those very girls are doing through out the week. This shows them that I love and care about them beyond their athletic abilities. Though they may not get it now one day they will.

Most importantly I want my players to see that my life matches up with the word of God! I want them to see me making decisions not just based on who is watching but based on whose I am. I am mindful to tell the girls often that we will be a team based on character and integrity. No, I will not play an 8th grader just to get the win in a JV match. Sure no one else will know but I will know. Integrity says I may not like the rules but I will follow them. Proverbs 21:3 says, ” To do what is right and just is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice.” Our integrity is put to the test everyday and as these young girls watch me I pray that they always see that my talk matches my walk and when it doesn’t I pray that I will have the courage to tell them I blew it and ask them for forgiveness! The job of Coach is not for the weak, but I believe that through this team God has given me more than I deserve and I pray that I can continue to serve them well. For this reason I leave it all on the floor because real hard work takes place at the Master’s feet!

Thanks for Reading

Redd

Photo Cred: One Touch Media

Life Interrupted

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Today’s Load isn’t as much dirty as it is infested. This Load really digs into how our past often interrupts our present/future. I’m about to be real transparent with y’all! Nine years ago my husband, myself, our three children and a large dog moved from Michigan to Kentucky. We were about a month into settling in when I noticed that our dog might have fleas. This might not have been a big deal, except for the fact that our dog resided indoors. I was immediately overwhelmed and anxious, my husband on the other hand was unbothered. He began processing the situation. I had already moved on to how to remedy things. My mind was already fumigating and tenting the house, while he was thinking flea bath. You probably think I’m nuts based on my dramatic reaction but, allow me to give you a little background before you send me to the looney bin.  As a child I lived in a home that was infested with fleas. Things were so bad we went around the house with our skin almost completely covered and our pants tucked into our socks. My family and I were all covered in bites. We soon moved from this place, but we ended up carrying a few friends with us…the saga continued.  The point I am trying to make with this story is that our past has a lot to do with who we are in the future. Something that took place over twenty years ago created so much frustration in a situation that didn’t warrant it! That day nine years ago, I was angry with my husband because he couldn’t understand why this was so urgent to me. I sure that if I had taken the time to pray my response would have been different, but my flesh was also infested… with sin! Although, I am a new creature in Christ, my mind hasn’t forgotten the pain of my past hurt.  In that instance my past had interrupted my present! My reaction was exacerbated by what had previously taken place and not truly responding to the current situation. My husband wasn’t aware of this thing that had taken place so long ago. He had no idea of my trauma! At that moment I was looking for relief from an issue that had already been rectified. This particular trial had come and gone. The  truth was I hadn’t unpacked the baggage from it… He couldn’t understand nor fix something that he had no knowledge of. The Lord says, “all who are heavy laden, come to me and I’ll give you rest.” (Matt 11:28) So often we look to those close to us to fix things, when we really need to look to God. We have to be mindful, to pull out our bags and remove the nasty loads that are contained and wash them at the Master’s feet, He is the only one who can repair what was damaged.  The Lord cares about all of our hurts and Loads, we only need to turn our cares over to him.

How has your life been interrupted and are you giving those cares over to God?

MOM BE AN ENCOURAGER, NOT A CRITIC

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I saw this on Facebook this morning, and this seemed like the perfect place to display it!

Y’all todays load is rather rank…or stank attitude to be exact! I always want to be the very best version of myself. I want to say the right things, make the right decisions and feel confident doing them. However, often times before I even get started, I have already blown it! They say, “We are our own worst critics”. I am not sure that I believe that to be true. I have good reasons for this thought…follow along with me. Recently while listening to my children bicker and argue, I came to the realization that one of my children had a critical spirit! She beat down and punched out her siblings with her words. This criticism really effects their self- confidence and causes them to struggle in the way that they see themselves and others around them. From these arguments, I realized that I knew this spirit. Why, do I know this spirit? As we say in Detroit or the “D”, “Game recognize game!” Ouch…The problem was me! This girl is so much like me its scary. I am ashamed to say that I have created a “Negative Nelly”. More is caught then taught in parenting and any relationship. They are watching our actions. It has been said, that in ancient times Jewish students would follow so closely behind their Rabbi that they would be covered in dust from his sandals. You could tell how close they were based upon how dirty they were. Y’all, my baby is dirty…okay! My girl follows me closely and it seems that my example has been poor. God has called me to be an encourager, not a critic. My words have been like sand paper but I cannot refine her heart with harsh words. Yes, I must be her correction but, I must also be her biggest cheering section. She must know that I see her worth even in her faults. My speech should be gracious and attractive so that I will have the right response to her (Col 4:6). It’s hard to see your own filth through the eyes of those you are charged to love well! As a mom I blow it daily, but God! The thing that allows me not to be grieved in this moment is knowing that there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus! His grace is sufficient. He has given me eyes to see my sin and an opportunity to make it right.

She and I both have been wounded but without these wounds it would be hard for us to recognize our need for a Savior. The Lord has given me the Holy Spirit to convict me and to close my mouth…something I should do more often. I give y’all permission to tell be to “SHUT UP!” There are many days that I lose this battle, although I can say I have more wins than losses because I know to whom I belong. This load is extremely heavy and dirty. I am Placing this “Load” at the Lords feet assures me that He will not only carry it, but He will make it clean as well. Leaving this “Load” with the Lord does not mean that it will totally be lifted from me and the stains removed right away. The work is done in the Lords timing. Although, there is still work for me to do. I must remind myself daily that I have to be a change agent for Christ. I must first repent of my critical spirit and ask the Lord to change my heart that I can be the example that I want my beautiful girl to grow to be! My “Load” is that of a critical spirit, but today I’d like to wash bad habits away. Hebrews 3:13, calls for us to encourage one another daily! My prayer is that my new spirit be that of edification, may I lift up and no longer tear down.

Thanks for taking the time to hear my heart!

Redd

It’s My Birthday!

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Hey Y’all! Welcome back to Momdry! Today’s “Load” is a sweet one! Why? This load is sweet because this Tuesday, September 3 is my 37th birthday…Woot Woot! Looking forward to getting chocolate cake wasted!

If I’m honest with both y’all and myself this is not the life that seventeen year old me had planned. I had sketched out a life of selfishness, a life where I would travel the world, make lots of money and remain single on purpose. I never wanted to take care of anyone else ever again! I was the only girl and second oldest of 5…come on y’all pick up what I’m putting down! They say, “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.” The Lord must have thought that was seriously funny, since he brought my husband into my life the following year. Fast forward a few years, Nate and I were married and had a baby every year following or wedding…Ok Lord, I got it! I never knew that I, Redd would be the Pastor’s wife/First Lady (if your from black church) ,a homeschooling mom, a class room helper, a volleyball coach and the list goes on. I wanted my life to be’ LIT but the Lord wanted my life to SHINE and baabay, it has. I have seen more places than that seventeen year old girl from Detroit could have ever imagined. My Honey always said stick with him, because he’d take me places, well because of the Gospel of Christ he has taken me many places. Most importantly to the feet of my Savior.

I am thankful for the Lord’s plan that has not only taken me places, but has also taught me somethings in my thirty seven years of life. The first thing has been to stop making plans that don’t include the Lord(Amen lights)! He knows the plans that He has for my life (Jeremiah 29:11). Secondly, I must be patient with myself and others. Due to my impatience I never wanted to be interrupted by anyone else’s concerns. As a mom of four; there are lots of interruptions, but I must slow down and be graciously deal with them. We are all going through something and patience allows us to slow down enough to recognize it. Lastly, I have gained confidence in myself. For so long I was super confident, but that thang was super fake! All the while telling myself, “No one wants to hear what you have to say, or you’ll never achieve that goal” Then God stepped in and restored my mind…BUT GOD! He moved my feet when I couldn’t. For the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your feet from being caught (Proverbs 3:26). The Lord has always carried my Load, when I couldn’t and even when I tried to drag that mess he showed me grace in those moments. it is because of that grace that I can whole heartedly be me and exemplify Him. It is because of the the Holy Spirit that lives within me that I can be a witness for Him. (Acts 1:8) It is because of the the gift of His son Jesus that Thirty seven is a Load that is sweet!

Redd

SWEET 37

What is Momdry?

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What is Momdry? Is it a real thing? The Urban Dictionary defines it  as “laundry only a mom can do.” It goes on to say, “It is a highly sought after trait bestowed upon a woman as soon as she gives birth.  I would say, “Momdry is the many loads of things that it seems only a mom can do!” It is  is all the things that need to be done and all the many things that go undone. Some of those things are sweet, some are fun, and a lot of them are not so glamorous. The baby has to be dressed, the hair has to be combed, the doctor has to be called, lunch has to be made, the photo has to be taken, the dog has to be walked, the poop has to be scooped, the trip has to be planned, the clothes have to be washed and so on and so forth. Yes, these things can be mundane, and overwhelming, but they can also be very rewarding. The amount of  love that goes into the completion of these things is beautiful.  Even when these things go undone God’s grace abounds. All that we do allows us to see how perfectly imperfect we are.  It allows us to have joy in both the lessons taught and learned along the way! The Loads don’t look the same for each of us, but they make us aware of our need for a Savior. 

I am so grateful that God has revealed to me who I am supposed to be!  I have been stagnant for way too long! I sit here in tears as I write this post because God has been urging me for far too long to move, but the many loads that I carried had me frozen in fear! This fear told me that I wasn’t good enough.  It told me that no one cared. It told me that I was a failure. It told me that what I was doing or was going to do was of no importance.  It didn’t allow me to fully embrace who I was or who I am in Christ Jesus. Fear has been a bully that has hindered my faith and my growth for much of my life . Today, I know that I am a daughter of a King and my Father did not give me a spirit of fear! I know this because Isaiah 41:10 tells me so. I don’t have to fear because He is with me and will strengthen me, help me and hold me with His righteous hand. So, today I say, “MOMDRY is a thing because it is what God has called me to!” It has allowed me to open my eyes and be grateful for the mundane, sometimes overwhelming, yet very rewarding thing that is my life. MOMDRY is imperfectly me and you! The “loads” will always be there and whether they get completed or not my prayer is that I will always be reminded to carry them to the Father. 

This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.